


The Silence of Sam Winchester

by Arikanana



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Big Brother Dean, Bottom Sam, Brotherly Love, Feels, Hurt Sam Winchester, M/M, Protective Dean Winchester, Top Dean, Weecest, Wincest - Freeform, mute!Sam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-07
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-02-16 11:15:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2267664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arikanana/pseuds/Arikanana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam Winchester had just woken up after the wall inside him broke. Dean is getting over losing his best friend and taking care of his Sammy. And this is my take on how his time in the cage went and how it affected him. Wincest with possible smut later, meant for feels. Set in Season 7</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I've written this on WattPad but decided to post it on here!!! Hope you enjoy! Suggestions and comments welcome :) I know this chapters short it was longer on Wattpad! Ill work to get them longer

Ever since Cas broke the wall in Sam's mind and let all the memories flow in; Sam remembered everything. The numbing cold from Lucifer’s presence, as he had pain rippling through him--years and years of agony. Adding onto that, he remembered that Satan never allowed him to scream. Whenever he made a sound, the torture inflicted on him just got worse. Of course, sometimes he couldn't help it. His self-control would snap every couple years or so and he would let out a broken wail, filled with despair. He couldn't process anything in his mind, it just hurt so much...

For 180 years, he struggled with forced-silence. Although it was 18 agonizing months for Dean on Earth, it was so, so many more torturous years that Sam had to endure. 

At first, when he pushed himself up, high on the adrenaline of freedom, he recalled Dean’s location and raced to save his brother. He could deal with the flash backs. Granted, it only made him quieter around them. He would talk softly in the beginning, as if there was a sleeping child near him that he didn't want to wake.

That all changed the night when Cas tried to release all those souls. Sam saw him, Lucifer, and he felt like his heart almost stopped and paled at every word the Devil said.

No, it couldn't be. He was free! He wasn't in there... Was he? He... He could speak again and... What kind of fantasy is this, if it wasn't? Was it just so it was believable? Sam didn't know.

And that was the last night Dean ever heard his little brother say another word.

Dean loved Sammy more than anything and he didn't understand Sam's silence, at least not at the moment. He was preoccupied with a dirty trench coat in his hands; his best friend was dead. Cas was gone and it hurt. 

Why? Why did all of his friends and loved ones die? Why couldn't things be different? Dean took Sam's hand as they followed Bobby back to the impala. 

"Are you okay?" He asks. He would rather distract himself from the pain in his chest.

Sam nodded and regrettably pulled his hand away as they got in the car. When he felt Dean’s hand around his, it felt so real. He wanted it to be real, but he was scared now. If Lucifer was right, he wasn't going to ruin this small fantasy he had with his voice. He wanted to stay with Dean for as long as possible.

And he couldn't bring himself to say a word with Lucifer sitting beside him the whole ride back to Bobby's. 

~~~Supernatural~~~

Dean paced in front of Sam and tried not to get angry or irritated. He had to take another few deep breaths, then clenched and unclenched his fist while he looked at Sam.

Sam was sitting in a chair in Bobby's library, (though his entire house was one) and stared at his hands, chewing his lip; afraid to meet his brother’s angry gaze. He didn't know how to make Dean understand. He just wished Lucifer wasn't sitting in the other chair talking about what he's going to do to Sam the next time they were alone.

"Sammy please. Talk to me; you haven't said crap sense Cas," Dean swallowed at that. "And it's starting to worry me man. What's happening up there in that head of yours?" He said leaning down to Sam's level and lifting his chin to look him in the eye.

Sam's only response was looking into Dean's beautiful green eyes and returning his stare with his sad puppy-eyes. Eyes that said, 'I'm sorry' and it was driving Dean mad. He watched as Sam's eyes would suddenly flicker to the empty chair near them then back to Dean, biting his trembling lower lip. That made Dean's gaze soften.

"Sammy, you know I won't be angry with you, but I need you to tell me what's wrong so I can fix it...." He said, pulling up another chair to sit down. Bobby was working on finding out what can kill a Leviathan in another part of the house, so they were by themselves. Or so Dean thought.

Sam shook his head and thought for a moment before he caught Dean’s gaze. He glanced at the other chair pointedly then back to Dean. Please understand... He thought desperately.

"Sammy, Sammy, Sammy. Dean can't see me, you know? I don't want him to. Besides, which one of us is the real one here, honestly?" Lucifer said with some sarcasm as he lounged in the chair.

"Sam... Are you seeing something, there?" Dean asked quietly eyes widening a little and he looks back at the empty chair. His mind going through a list of possibilities.

Sam hesitated, then slowly nodded a little, looking back down at his hands. Dean took a deep breath. 

"What exactly am I suppose to be looking at?" He said, trying to get Sam to tell him. Say something, anything at this point would ease Dean’s worry. Sam reached out and touched Dean’s hand for a moment with a sad expression. Dean already had an idea, but he refused to believe it.

Sam swallowed and reached out to take Dean’s hand. Pain or not he can try, for Dean he can. 

"Uh uh, Sammy. Don't think I don't know what you’re going to do." 

Sam froze; the voice was from behind him. He turned around only to find Lucifer’s face inches from his. He jerked back so quickly that he fell off his chair, knocking it over with a thud.

"Sammy?" Dean dropped to his knees, barley helping to break Sam's fall. 

"Sammy, what is it? Come on, I can't help you if you don't say anything." He said desperately as Sam twisted in his arms and all but crawled into Dean’s lap. It’s something Sam hasn't done in years and holy crap he was heavy now.

Dean held Sam close and stroked his fingers through Sam's hair as he trembled in his brother’s arms. He buried his face in Dean’s neck as he tried to block out Lucifer’s laughter. 

"Shh it's okay now. I'm sorry, Sam. I won't bug you about this anymore, okay?" Dean said softly to soothe his broken brother, at loss of what to do for him. He felt Sam nod and cuddle in closer, desperate for Dean’s comfort.

And Dean let him, still running his hands through Sammy's hair. He'd find out what was bothering Sam. He just hoped it didn’t have anything to do with the Cage...

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Over the next week, Sam's silence was driving Dean crazy. No pun intended. Anytime he tried to get his brother to speak, he got no results. He was pushed away every time he tried to kiss Sam and it was getting to his last nerve.

At night, in their separate beds at Bobby's, Dean would secretly stay awake to watch over Sam. The younger Winchester would lay awake silently staring up at the ceiling. He would tense and his eyes would widen for a moment. Dean could see his little brother tremble. So Dean would have to climb into bed and pull Sammy into his arms to help him sleep. The sandy-blonde would hold him close and card his fingers through Sammy's soft hair. 

"Shh..." He would whisper; his deep voice luring his Sammy back into sleep.

The next morning, while Dean went out for food, Sam sat down in a mental-debate. He wanted to write it all out for Dean, but every time he tried, something around him would catch on fire. He was terrified of Lucifer yanking him out of this world. He missed Dean. Yes, he was pushing him away, but he was afraid of accidentally breaking and telling him everything. He decided to take a different step then.

Dean came in holding a bag of Denny's and set it on the table. 

"Sammy? Bobby? I'm home," he called out, taking his jacket off. He heard footsteps and looked up to see Sam standing there. He noticed how shy Sam looked and he couldn't help but find it adorable at how Sam was staring at his feet. "What's up Sammy?"

Sam stood there nervously playing with the end of his shirt. He took a deep breath and looked up at Dean. His hazel puppy-eyes were filled with emotion and he touched his chest lightly. Looking at Dean, he walked over, then touched Dean's chest. He missed the Samulet’s protrusion under his fingers. He looked at Dean.

Dean swallowed a lump in his throat. He knew his brother like the back of his hand. And he understood what his Sammy was trying to say to him.

Sam's eyes said I love you. He smiled a little sheepishly and felt Dean's warm hand cover his. He looked back at Dean and saw a smile break across Dean's face. He couldn’t help but return it.

"I love you, too, Sammy..." Dean murmured and wrapped his other arm around Sam's waist. Dean hugged him close, pressing his face in Sam's soft brown hair. "I'm not going anywhere until we figure this out, okay?" Dean promised.

Sam nodded and leaned into his big brother’s warmth. He sighed a breath at how much he missed the feeling of this.

"You girls done or do you need to get a room?" Bobby interrupted as he entered the room. "Because I like to eat my breakfast in peace thank you," he said with a grin as he dug his food out of the bag.

Dean chuckled and released the blushing Sam. He pulled out his food and handed Sam his, before sitting down at the table. Sam took it and smiled slightly before joining him at the table. Sam opened his meal to find it full of maggots. He shoved it away, his eyes wide and looked over to see Lucifer grinning manically beside him.

“Don't think I didn't see what you just did, Sammy. You and I are gonna have some fun later," Lucifer said with a grin.

Dean looked up as Sam pushed his food away. He didn't see anything wrong with the harmless omelet. It looked fine to him. 

"Sam?" Dean looked over as Sam stared at the empty space beside him. He could see his brother’s was jaw clenched even though his hands shook slightly. "Hey, Sammy." Dean said louder as he snapped his fingers in front of Sam's face.

Bobby's expression saddened slightly and he sighed, as he watched Sam jerked back from the snap. The older hunter looked over at Dean, his eyes apologetic. Sam stood, silently excused himself, and went outside for air.

Dean moved to get up and follow him, but Bobby grabbed Dean's wrist. 

"Let him go. He needs some time to think, Dean..." Bobby sighed, "and sit down. I'm not letting my money go to waste on both of you," he said gruffly to ease the tension, before he started to eat again.

Dean sighed and sat back down, not sure if he had the heart to eat these pancakes he got for himself anymore.

~~~Supernatural~~~ 

Sam sat on one of the old cars. He leaned against the faded blue hood and ran a hand down his face as he took a deep breath. He didn't need to use his voice to talk with the Devil. He stared at his wounded hand as Lucifer’s taunts and threats filled his ears, mentally curling in on himself.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay these will get longer after chapter 3 I promise Dx


	3. Chapter 3

This carried on for a few days. Dean was certain it would have started to get better, after all, Sam tried. Dean knew he did, he could see how hard it was to tell (in a sense, at least) Dean that he loved him. So, he assumed that things would get better after that. Of course he should have realized his luck was never that generous.

Sam seemed paler. His hands trembled at the most random things. He would turn gray all of a sudden. The cause of it was unknown to Dean, but Sam was very aware of the reasons.

These reasons, of course, were things he already assumed would happen for breaking the rule. The rule above all rules in The Cage. Sam was waiting for the promise of having "the rug pulled from under him," as Lucifer put it. He was waiting for his fragile world to disappear; for Dean to be gone again. He didn't know how long this would continue. As much as he wanted to savor these moments, he knew that if stepped out of line, it wouldn't last as long. He would rather keep these images.

The images of his family: Dean and Bobby; even the Salvage Yard was something he didn't want to lose. He didn't want to waste one second of seeing all of these familiar things before they were taken again.

He wasn't an idiot. He remembered some of the rather creative tortures in The Cage. Just the memory send a white hot shot of pain across his skull, bouncing around until he could find away to make it stop. He didn't even realize when he shook violently, gripping his gun tight in his hands. Wasn't his gun in his drawer? He didn't remember going across the room.

"That's because you're insane Sam. I'm telling you, this would be so much easier, you know." Lucifer sighed from beside Sam.

Sam's jaw tightened. He threw the gun back on the bed. Shut up, he thought. At first, he was afraid to think words, but for some reason that was allowed. Maybe it was because only Lucifer can hear him.

"I'm only trying to help you. You and I both know how screwed up you are no need to drag Dean and Bobby down with you." He smirked at Sam, the sarcasm dripping off his words. "Come on Sammy, you know where to point it."

Sam looked over at the Devil, who made a gun shape with his hand. He pointed it under his jaw and pretended to pull the trigger, making a 'pop' with his mouth. Sam backed away from him and the gun.

"Sam... Stop being difficult about this. Do I have to cheer for you like a cheerleader or what?" Lucifer groaned.

Sam looked over at him. His expression distraught as his thoughts swirled in his head. Part of him-- the damaged side that was drowning in memories-- was telling him to listen. That death was a better option than this. But the other side-- the part that was alive with all of Sam's courage and his old self-- screamed at him to walk out and ignore the Devil. To fight him. To believe this was real...

Sam picked the gun up, put it in the back of his pants and walked out determinedly. His jaw set from his decision. He wasn't going to listen to any other voice. Dealing with one was bad enough without his own conscience.

~~~Supernatural~~~

Dean worked on the Impala. His forehead was coated a layer of sweat and oil from working under the sun. He felt a calmness come over him at working on something so normal; a routine he knew he could always do. He could work on his baby and make her better than new.

Dean pressed his feet against the roof of the impala; he started to push the dents out when a shadow blocked the sun from his view. He sat up to see Sam and was surprised. 

This was the first time he saw Sam willingly come out, let alone go up to Dean. "Hey Sammy... You okay?" He asks feeling confused.

Sam nodded. He shifted, almost shyly and went over to Dean's tools and held out a wrench to him.

"You... Want to help fix the impala?" Dean guessed. Eyebrows raises as he takes it. He studies Sam's face carefully. "Alright then.... I'll work on the engine... " he says slowly climbing out of the impala. 

He wasn't going to do the engine until tomorrow but he certainly wasn't going to question Sam's sudden willingness. He never took a good thing for granted.

Sam smiled a little as Dean popped the hood open and started working. Occasionally asking Sam for a certain tool or part; Sam felt good that he was helping even if he couldn't hear Dean very well over Lucifers singing. 

But he didn't care as long as he could make Dean happy. He'll grasp onto his fragile world and what little happiness it had for as long as he can. He would try harder now, he told himself. He can be strong for Dean.

Dean was filled with happiness, he couldn't believe that something so little and normal would make him grin like a idiot as he worked. he wiped his hands afterwards sitting up. "Hold on." He grinned closing the hood and running inside.

Sam leaned against the hood as he waited trying to contain his smile at how happy Dean looked. Dean comes back holding two beers and passes one to Sam. 

"Drink up Sammy." Dean grins and drinks his leaning beside Sam. He had gotten used to this new Silent Sam; it didn't mean he wasn't going to try to get his Sam back to normal. 

After all, he thought sarcastically. Time heals all wounds right? he hesitated then put his arm around Sam's waist and scoots a little closer to him.

Sam felt the warmth of Dean's arm around his waist and shivered, leaning into Dean's side to feel the warmth. he closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to see the Devil taunting him. because this was the happiest he's felt sense he got out

And he wasn't going to let it go anytime soon.

TBC


End file.
